Two years ago I had a friend, who, for this story, will be called Charlie. Charlie and I were friends on and off since third grade. We had years where we were pleasant, but kind of distant with each other, and years where we were very close. Two years ago we were having a very close year. This was the year when Charlie came out of the closet. Despite living in a very accepting community, there were some boys who were not exactly thrilled about this event. They were mean to Charlie. So mean, in fact, that Charlie was out of school for a week out of fear. When he returned he discovered that the boys had taken sharpies and wrote phrases such as "charlie is a massive fag" and "that faggot is gonna burn in hell." This broke my heart. They were attacking my friend, they were hurting him, and he was scared. That's when the faculty decided to get involved. The principal of the school decided that in response to writing on the bathroom walls, he should forbid my grade to use the bathrooms in our hallway. Instead, we were to go to the nurse's office and use the nurse's bathroom so we could be monitored. This went on for about two weeks. This was the only action being taken. No one was being perused, no one was getting in trouble, no one offered to help Charlie. None of the adults did anything except punish 100+ kids for something that a couple of homophobic ass hats decided to do.
Yeah, as you can imagine, this didn't exactly fly with me.
Now, I had a very good relationship with the former superintendent of schools. So when he happened to see me walking down the hallway one day at school, he stopped me to chat. Things went a little something like this..
"Hello Bridget! How are you doing? How are things with school?"
"Oh.. School isn't going so well.."
"Oh.. School isn't going so well.."
"Really? Why is that?"
"..They didn't tell you? The gay bashing?"
"..They didn't tell you? The gay bashing?"
"Oh. Well. Ahem. They obviously told me about this, but why don't you umm give me your perspective on the matter so I can uhh form uhh a better plan for um solving.. it.."
So I told him exactly what was going on and how nothing was getting done about it and how mad I was about the entire situation.
He smiled, shook my hand, thanked me for telling him my side of the story and informed me that he was going to be meeting with my principal in a few minutes and promised me that he would bring up my concerns and help get things dealt with.
The next day my grade was called down into the auditorium for an "emergency assembly." The teachers refused tell us why, but it really didn't take a genius to figure it out. We filed into our seats, somehow magically forcing me to sit in the very front row. Then my principal stood up to speak.
"Now.. I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here.."
I rolled my eyes. No, dipshit, we knew exactly why we were there.
"You're here because there was a little problem with some people vandalizing the bathroom walls. And that's not okay. I know that you're all great kids with good hearts and you're all just so wonderful.."
Okay, at this point I was a little irritated. Homophobia is the same as a 'little problem?' Really? Was World War 2 the same as flipping the monopoly board when you're out of money?
"But you have to understand! Closing the bathroom was not a "punishment"..."
What.
The.
Fuck.
"I hope we all understand each other better now. Have a wonderful day, you're all so special.."
No.
No.
NO.
NOPE.
NUH HUH.
When that man walked out of the auditorium and into the school lobby, I followed him. I marched right up to him, my fists and teeth clenched and face red. He smiled nervously and greeted me. And then this happened,
"What was that."
"What? I don't understand I was-"
"Do you have any idea what you're doing??"
"Excuse me? I just-"
"No. Stop. You are going to LISTEN to me for once. You are going to be the first adult 'authority figure' who is going to actually listen to a teenager because believe it or not, you are WRONG."
He was silent. He just nodded his head.
"You passed this off as nothing. Closing the bathroom was the punishment. And when parents came to you and told you that it was not only illegal to deny students bathroom rights, but also violates doctor-patient confidentiality laws by forcing 100+ students to use the nurse's office bathroom, you needed an explanation to keep everybody quiet. This was NOT a "little problem" do you understand me? This was bullying. This was homophobia. This was a cruel and hateful action against another student, another human being. And you passed this off as nothing."
He smiled this painfully forced smile and said "closing the bathroom was not a punishment.."
"YES IT WAS!"
People were starting to stare at this point.
"You did nothing to help an innocent person be in this so called "safe learning environment" which you seem so proud of. You want students to come to you with problems? Then you need to be prepared to actually do something about those problems. There is more to being the principal than this. You need to be able to keep the promises you make to students and their families, especially when a student is being treated as less than human do you understand me?"
He just kept smiling and said, "closing the bathroom was not a punishment.."
Fed up, I said good bye and I went home.
Two years later, the boys were never caught. Charlie went to a different school. He still thanks me for standing up for him, even if it didn't help. Because I at least did something.
-
Don't be the person to just stand there like an asshole. That makes you worse than the bully. That is unforgivable in my eyes.
-Bridget
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